Growing Present 🌱 Week 2 - Pressing Pause

This is an invitation to STOP. Learning to respond rather than react, and looking at what gets in the way.

I feel like a bit of a fraud this week because I simply haven’t stopped. I have been caught up in classic ‘if-then’ thinking. I think to myself ‘if I can just finish this, this, and this, then I can relax’ but the truth is that there will always be another set of tasks to turn to.

I took myself off to a Transformational Breathing workshop on Saturday. It was a powerful full body ‘reset’ but (and this is where I share my true lack of enlightenment with you) the day after I was straight back to busy mode. So what am I trying to say here?

What I want to emphasize is that all these messages telling you to stop, let go, and relax sound simple, but it’s not that easy. I’ve had a variety of mindfulness and movement based practices over the past 30 years or so, and it’s still hard for me to stop.

Part of the problem is a society that rewards us for always being ‘on’ and where the practical help we need to make time to rest is not available. Try telling a single parent or a sandwich generation carer to stop and they will likely want you to stop ‘caresplaining’ (thank you

Victoria

for that helpful shorthand 🙌). They can’t stop because there is nobody else to pick up the pieces. Nonetheless, my focus this week in Growing Present is to at least press pause, even if coming to a complete halt seems impossible.

The aim here is to bring some awareness to the space around things. The moment of stillness that is always there (whether you notice it or not) between each in breath and each out breath. The silence that is available in the gaps in conversation (if only you weren’t thinking about what to say next). The way each foot fall lands within the movement we call walking. The inflection point between a feeling arising and taking action.

There is a way to find some space within a life spent busy being busy. It starts with noticing that you are busy and bringing your attention there.

It helps if we have a prompt and simple framework to enable us to do that. That’s where this week’s exploration and practice comes in. We look at what’s happening in the nervous system when we become reactive (e.g. snapping at your partner, or sudden surge of anxiety in a meeting). Then I share a 3 minute tool to take a breath, acknowledge these feelings in the body, and ultimately become more regulated.

Why not join us in this gentle attempt to stop? It might even make you more productive (which is my way of trying to convince your busy mind to try 😉)

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Growing Present is intended as a gentle container to provide structure and guidance to weave these threads of presence into the daily fabric of your life.

Each post gives you:

• a short video snippet of ‘theory’ about how or why something works

• an audio with a guided practice to try that week

• a downloadable summary as a reminder

There’s deep truth in the old Zen saying:

You should sit in mediation for 20 minutes a day. Unless you are too busy, then you should sit for an hour.

But I am a realist (and someone who juggles unpaid caregiving with paid work), and I know that even 20 minutes a day can feel completely out of reach. So the practices I share are 5-15 minutes maximum (this week it’s even less). Each one is designed to help you build the skill of turning towards your present moment experience with kindness.

Here’s what we will be covering in the first 5 parts:

1. Becoming Aware - noticing your life as it unfolds

2. Pressing Pause - learning how to respond rather than react

3. Holding Uncertainty - finding solid ground when you feel anxious

4. Making Space - realising that you are not your thoughts

5. Being Kind - making friends with your inner critic

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Thank you once more to those of you who have already signed up. It really does mean a lot to me that you are here.

The course materials are below. I will share the support thread tomorrow, but please feel free to add comments and questions at any time. Keep growing 🌱