Growing Present 🌱 Week 5 - Being Kind
Going beyond the cliché of 'be kind to yourself' to find real self compassion.
I’ve saved what I believe is the strongest root of true self care for this last part of my first series of posts on Growing Present. It is being kind to yourself.
Don’t scroll on by. I know this phrase has become another ‘self care’ platitude, which I wrote more about here. ‘Be kind to yourself’ is stencilled or embroidered in pastel colours on cushions, mugs, duvet covers, notebooks and pencil cases. It is text shared in memes featuring soft focus photography of sunsets, deserted beaches, spa days and scented candles. Please do run yourself a relaxing bubble bath if you would like, but that’s not what I mean by being kind to yourself here.
The western idea of self-empowerment requires you to become better, discover your inner billionaire, get beach-bodied, work, upgrade. It says the present is not enough. It's self-loathing masquerading as salvation.
We need self-acceptance. Self-compassion. Our present bodies and minds and lives are not things we have to escape. We need to remember the messy miracle of being here.
Matt Haig
What I’m asking you to be kind towards are the parts of your experience that are not featured in the beautiful images. It is the scrappy, shameful, self loathing stuff that often pops up in our heads when we are attempting to be still and notice. Because, when we turn towards of thoughts and feelings (which I have encouraged you to do for the past few weeks), we often don’t like what we find. That’s why the modern consumerist answer to this is usually some form of escapism. Who doesn’t like a relaxing massage or a piece of chocolate cake?
I’m not saying ditch all forms of self indulgence. But I am saying that true self care requires us to develop a more genuine sense of friendship towards ourselves. It’s not always easy to do this when the inner critic is strong, but it is possible with the simple practices I share here.
Growing Present is intended as a gentle container to provide structure and guidance to weave these threads of presence into the daily fabric of your life.
Each post gives you:
a short video snippet of ‘theory’ about how or why something works
an audio with a guided practice to try that week
a downloadable summary as a reminder
Here’s what we will be covering in the first 5 parts:
Becoming Aware - noticing your life as it unfolds
Pressing Pause - learning how to respond rather than react
Holding Uncertainty - finding solid ground when you feel anxious
Making Space - realising that you are not your thoughts
Being Kind - making friends with your inner critic
Sign up below to receive each week of the course to your email or in the Substack app.
The course materials are below. I will share the support thread tomorrow, but please feel free to add comments and questions at any time. Keep growing 🌱
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